My Monologue When Jiving On The Dancefloor During Prom

Caution: This is my mind and I swear alot.

I am going to kick off my heels now.Right this instant.Oh wait,what if assholes stomp on my feet or worse,I get stepped on my toe by some overly enthusiastic heels wearing mosher? It’s a vicious cycle.You take your heels off and you get stepped on by another.It’s like a food chain.You don’t get on top of the food chain,you can’t survive.

What’s with all these people who are screaming “What The Fuck”?Is it part of the song? Oh wait,it is! I’m just gonna jump in on the What The Fuck train whenever.Any time now.WHAT THE FUCK! Oh wait,they weren’t shouting.Damn,the song’s over! Goddamnit,what shit song is this?I’ll just jump and sway myself into delirium.Daamn,look at that guy ripping up the dancefloor.Say ABBA 3 times in the mirror and this guy will come out of the mirror and dance for you.

What the fuck is this guy doing? Oh shit,he’s grinding on me what the fuck.Do I grind back?God no,that ain’t classy.I’m just going to gracefully detach myself from this grinding and do a robot dance.I can’t believe he hasn’t left yet.How can my robot dance not drive you away,fool? Shit son,he’s doing some funky move like he’s holding that musical instruments that Spanish use that go sssssstttt.He’s going to the left and right now,okay I’m going to carefully move myself to the right and out of the dancefloor because THESE HEELS ARE KILLIN ME.

I’m just going to kick these babies off here.Do I run towards the moshing crowd enthusiastically now? Oh yes,the lights are dimming! WHOOOOOOOOO.Oh shit.The lights weren’t dimming.I’m just having some epileptic shit along with the mixture of strange adrenaline.Well, that’s embarrassing.It’s okay,everyone’s too caught up in their own world.I’m just going to start doing some jive shit that doesn’t make sense.HARDCORE PEOPLE,HARDCORE.

Where’s Mistika? Un Be Lieve A Ble.You know what? Fuck this shit.My friends ain’t even moshing,where’s the fun of it.Now let me carefully move myself to the right side of the crowd and get out.

MOTHERFUCKKERRRRR,WHICH BITCH STEPPED ON MY FUCKING TOOOE

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