Days Like These

I am going to stand up.Then I’m going to push all these off the table.The pencil holder,the stapler,the books about the english legal system,my wallet.All of them will be on the floor.Nothing will break except for the pencil holder and my spirit.

Then after I made my message loud and clear,I will walk towards you and defend myself.I will come up with reasons why I’m having internal conflict with myself.I’ll tell you things like I am my greatest enemy.I am my worst battle.You will say that I am giving excuses.Then I will stand infront of you,face to face,cheek to cheek,so you could feel my cold tear and hot cheek.You will know I’m not lying.And you will know I need help.I need you to help.And I’ll tell you I’m not lying.

But I didn’t.I sat there just silent,and swallowing all this into a great void.

Days like these are days when I am my own enemy.When I am my worst battle.When I really really really hate my guts.

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