PLAN A

One day you’ll be so unhappy that you can’t even find the right equalizer setting to make your favorite song sound nice anymore. And everything seems alarmingly dull and uninteresting. Nothing bad has happened, nothing is happening. That’s just about the worst part of the story. You watch cartoons to convince yourself even the impossible is possible, like floating through a door into another dimension where you know how to talk to people in parties without the fear of being bored lingering in the back of your mind. So you immerse yourself in this imaginary world within a black box where everyone in here has mind over matter and worry about what they do instead of how they feel. You want to heighten the chemicals in your brain by being ravenously addicted on cocaine just so you can build artificial butterflies in your stomach, the kind you see in cartoons. You distract yourself with 1 minute 30 seconds bite-sized clips on how to make your life better, perhaps appreciate the little things in life, or having a cup of tea and pretend you’re living the Scandinavian life where the mundane is beautiful and wonderful. You feed yourself this illusion that life can actually be meaningful even though you are bored. This nothingness is a mere bus stop to a grander destination which is happiness. You drown yourself in work perceived as important by your peers and people in the society. The more times you hear how important this work is, the more it becomes the truth. You’re functioning, you have a place in this world, because you’re doing such meaningful meaningful work. You function, therefore you fit in, therefore you’re supposed to be happy, you’re happy you’re happy.

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